Lately there have been a ton of posts like Five Back to School Style Tips for Boys and other style tipsheets going around Pinterest, Twitter and the other mom-guilt machines. They all seem to have been written for parents of children who leave the house everyday. Perhaps the particular mom who shared with her followers the above-linked post is an overachiever and this clouds her understanding of what is relevant to other homeschooling parents. We normal homeschoolers are still in need of a back-to-school style tip sheet just for us. Luckily, here I am with five ideas to help your little homeschool fashionistas make a great start to this school year.
1. Boxers now come in girl.
Most homeschooling parents have switched their sons to boxers from briefs in an attempt to pass them off not as naked children doing math under the dining room table, but children in shorts, when the UPS guy comes to the door at 2pm. Target recently began offering a line of girls' "boyfriend briefs" in sizes as small as 4T. However, if you don't want the UPS guy to realize your daughters are topless, it might be best to put the girls in boys' boxers.
2. Break the air conditioner.
The best way to get a teenage boy to put a shirt on already is to pretend the window is stuck open. If you get him involved in eating after he has covered up, he will not notice when you slip the window shut. Obviously, this only works in winter in northern climates. If anyone has any tips for warm weather, please comment.
3. Be mindful of where the wings attach to the child.
We all have had kids knock over our alcoholic beverage of choice trying to reach for a rolling pencil with those Hearthsong wings that attach at the fingertips. Opt for the less fancy but still perfectly magical winged T-shirt, available from etsy sellers, which have attachments only at the shoulder blade. This simple solution to help you avoid wings on the table during schoolwork can make a major difference in how many times your child's preteen sibling screams that he can't focus with all that flapping.
4. Orange is your friend.
Freedom from bullies, immersion in adult social life, and carefully targeted practice doing hard things are reasons we homeschool, but they have one negative side effect: extremely confident, independent children. When your brood hits the museum doors, they scatter, driven away from you by their unquestioning confidence that Mama is magically always there. But how do you manage to be always there? This simple wardrobe trick does wonders, Invest in a bright orange T-shirt for every child. (Make sure it's the only layer so kids won't be tempted to take it off and leave it on a bench or something forever.) Your fluorescent safety-cone kids will then be easy to spot in any crowd.
5. The must-have: costume pajamas.
If you have to make choices about your child's wardrobe (and which of us doesn't, when homeschoolers have on average four kids and one income), invest in at least four sets of character pajamas. Look specifically for the type that appear to be costumes: footies with tails or pajama tops with capes. We've all lost the battle with our children: only twenty minutes between finishing up the grammar lesson and running out to get to park day, children dilly dallying in an effort to get you to give up and let them go in what they are already wearing. If you put your child to bed last night in costume pajamas, you can spend those twenty minutes on coffee or putting a clean shirt on yourself. Everyone will laugh at how much kids get attached to their costumes and tell you about their brother who used to wear a cape everywhere, and no one will suspect your kids haven't changed in more than forty-eight hours. Keep in mind when shopping that costumes made of pajama-quality fleece often are more durable than the stuff kids pull out of the Halloween box.
Here's one last unofficial tip for you moms: sunglasses. If they can't see you cry, they won't know they won. Sunglasses can help hide angry emotions, too, so if nothing else, keep a pair near the spelling workbooks.
These guidelines have been part of our homeschooling wardrobe choices for years and really help us to concentrate on the important work of being in a whole different league than the Joneses. May they help you have a great year!
1. Boxers now come in girl.
Most homeschooling parents have switched their sons to boxers from briefs in an attempt to pass them off not as naked children doing math under the dining room table, but children in shorts, when the UPS guy comes to the door at 2pm. Target recently began offering a line of girls' "boyfriend briefs" in sizes as small as 4T. However, if you don't want the UPS guy to realize your daughters are topless, it might be best to put the girls in boys' boxers.
2. Break the air conditioner.
The best way to get a teenage boy to put a shirt on already is to pretend the window is stuck open. If you get him involved in eating after he has covered up, he will not notice when you slip the window shut. Obviously, this only works in winter in northern climates. If anyone has any tips for warm weather, please comment.
3. Be mindful of where the wings attach to the child.
We all have had kids knock over our alcoholic beverage of choice trying to reach for a rolling pencil with those Hearthsong wings that attach at the fingertips. Opt for the less fancy but still perfectly magical winged T-shirt, available from etsy sellers, which have attachments only at the shoulder blade. This simple solution to help you avoid wings on the table during schoolwork can make a major difference in how many times your child's preteen sibling screams that he can't focus with all that flapping.
4. Orange is your friend.
Freedom from bullies, immersion in adult social life, and carefully targeted practice doing hard things are reasons we homeschool, but they have one negative side effect: extremely confident, independent children. When your brood hits the museum doors, they scatter, driven away from you by their unquestioning confidence that Mama is magically always there. But how do you manage to be always there? This simple wardrobe trick does wonders, Invest in a bright orange T-shirt for every child. (Make sure it's the only layer so kids won't be tempted to take it off and leave it on a bench or something forever.) Your fluorescent safety-cone kids will then be easy to spot in any crowd.
5. The must-have: costume pajamas.
If you have to make choices about your child's wardrobe (and which of us doesn't, when homeschoolers have on average four kids and one income), invest in at least four sets of character pajamas. Look specifically for the type that appear to be costumes: footies with tails or pajama tops with capes. We've all lost the battle with our children: only twenty minutes between finishing up the grammar lesson and running out to get to park day, children dilly dallying in an effort to get you to give up and let them go in what they are already wearing. If you put your child to bed last night in costume pajamas, you can spend those twenty minutes on coffee or putting a clean shirt on yourself. Everyone will laugh at how much kids get attached to their costumes and tell you about their brother who used to wear a cape everywhere, and no one will suspect your kids haven't changed in more than forty-eight hours. Keep in mind when shopping that costumes made of pajama-quality fleece often are more durable than the stuff kids pull out of the Halloween box.
Here's one last unofficial tip for you moms: sunglasses. If they can't see you cry, they won't know they won. Sunglasses can help hide angry emotions, too, so if nothing else, keep a pair near the spelling workbooks.
These guidelines have been part of our homeschooling wardrobe choices for years and really help us to concentrate on the important work of being in a whole different league than the Joneses. May they help you have a great year!