It was not too long ago that I sat in a mediation session with my ex-partner hammering out school schedule and custody details. Slightly more than two Februaries ago, it must have been, because this is the second February that I have done the genius February thing. I still remember the feeling that accompanied the stroke of genius.
The genius was: I would not do school in February. February is always a dreadful month for homeschoolers. Maybe for classroom teachers too. Everyone is stir crazy. The holidays are long over but winter isn't. Spring refuses to come. We all are really, really done, in our hearts, with our math books, but the math books are not done, in their table of contents, with us. Tax refunds arrive, requiring us to budget for next year's new shiny books, and oh how we long to switch to using the new stuff now.
We were sitting in that mediation session because it had become apparent that we couldn't split the homeschooling anymore. The kids had been going back and forth, one week at my house, one week at their dad's house, and we were happy with this as a co-parenting structure. But the youngest boy was falling behind academically, and I knew he needed the same school environment every day. He just had a different learning style from the older kids and he needed more consistency. What I really wanted was to be doing 100% of the homeschooling. My ex-partner wouldn't agree: if we couldn't split the homeschooling in half the way we had been, he would rather kiddo be in school. I thought consistency was more important than homeschooling, so for a little while, youngest kiddo was in school, and we were in court. Our judge, with the help of a wonderful, homeschooling-positive law guardian, took a look at my homeschooling, took a look at my ex's homeschooling, took a look at my kiddo in school and how he was doing there, and then decided I should do 100% of the homeschooling. So we needed a new custody schedule. One week here, one week there, was no longer so workable, with kids needing to be at my house for school hours every day, and forty-five minutes of travel from one parent's house to the other.
That day in mediation when I had the stroke of genius about February, we declared a school schedule that would go in the paperwork to be officially stamped by the judge and the county. The schedule was binding in a way that I hadn't had to deal with before; the state regs were never any where near as bossy as our custody agreement.
Thankfully, I'm really satisfied with what we chose.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are school days. This gives my ex-partner one more day with the kids, since he has time with them on weekends. It also gives the kids one day a week to explore museums, amusement parks, libraries, etc., without other kids around. It's a day when we can schedule doctor's and dentist's appointments so they don't interfere with the rest of the week.
School starts at ten a.m. and ends at 4 p.m. I set this up thinking of research on teens needing to sleep in, but it has been brilliant in other ways. This schedule means that even if we go to one of the millions of worthwhile events that ends at 8pm, and therefore grab dinner in the car on the way home and get everyone in bed at 10pm, the children still get their pediatrician-recommended nine hours. This has opened up a world of possibilities for our sleep-concerned family.
School runs in two four-month terms. The first term is fall, and goes from October 1 - January 30. September is full of gorgeous weather here in Albany, and we get to be out in it, every single day. It's the best month for nature hikes. It may just be the best month. After a summer of crowds, we love going to places and having no lines, no competition, no other kids around. Having September off is dreamy. And since Yule is not the biggest holiday of the year for us, like Christmas is for so many, doing school right through it helps me stay true to my desire to not treat Yule as bigger than May Day or Fall Equinox just because the whole rest of the world does.
The second term is spring, and runs from March 1 - June 30. Though most of the homeschoolers we know stop some time in May to enjoy the nice weather, our public schools go right to June 30, and since one of Robin's daughters is in school, we are forced to not go on vacation until July anyway. Since it starts so late, we have a very outdoorsy spring term, and a very indoorsy fall term, and that's a nice balance for us.
In between those terms, February is off. Because February is hard.
At the beginning of this February, I didn't want to stop homeschooling. I was taking refuge in the busy-ness of mundane daily life with kids, and the thought of having freedom to ponder my problems seemed terrifying. I only did it because it was what I had locked myself into with that custody order. Now March is here, and it was fine, and I'm refreshed, ready to jump in to a spring term. I think it can seem some times like custody orders are chokeholds, threatening to suck the heart out of life (as you can see in this doodle I worked on while I waited to find out if my husband and his exes would go to court) but here I am, living with this one, and actually, I really like it.
I was right, with that stroke of genius. February is hard, but it is awesome when I am having a break in which I can do some of my own projects, hang out with friends, act like a single childless lady, deep clean the house, and organize lesson plans for spring term. This February I assembled lapbooks. I decluttered the craft supplies. I rearranged some furniture too. I saw friends, good friends who fill up my soul with excitement about the human species. I wrote three blog posts that turned into 25-page booklets instead. (Those'll be up some time this year, after editing, for PDF download.) But mostly I just drank deeply of the rest and peace I have self-imposed with my New Year's Resolution to do what I'm already doing.
February. Done. Check.
The genius was: I would not do school in February. February is always a dreadful month for homeschoolers. Maybe for classroom teachers too. Everyone is stir crazy. The holidays are long over but winter isn't. Spring refuses to come. We all are really, really done, in our hearts, with our math books, but the math books are not done, in their table of contents, with us. Tax refunds arrive, requiring us to budget for next year's new shiny books, and oh how we long to switch to using the new stuff now.
We were sitting in that mediation session because it had become apparent that we couldn't split the homeschooling anymore. The kids had been going back and forth, one week at my house, one week at their dad's house, and we were happy with this as a co-parenting structure. But the youngest boy was falling behind academically, and I knew he needed the same school environment every day. He just had a different learning style from the older kids and he needed more consistency. What I really wanted was to be doing 100% of the homeschooling. My ex-partner wouldn't agree: if we couldn't split the homeschooling in half the way we had been, he would rather kiddo be in school. I thought consistency was more important than homeschooling, so for a little while, youngest kiddo was in school, and we were in court. Our judge, with the help of a wonderful, homeschooling-positive law guardian, took a look at my homeschooling, took a look at my ex's homeschooling, took a look at my kiddo in school and how he was doing there, and then decided I should do 100% of the homeschooling. So we needed a new custody schedule. One week here, one week there, was no longer so workable, with kids needing to be at my house for school hours every day, and forty-five minutes of travel from one parent's house to the other.
That day in mediation when I had the stroke of genius about February, we declared a school schedule that would go in the paperwork to be officially stamped by the judge and the county. The schedule was binding in a way that I hadn't had to deal with before; the state regs were never any where near as bossy as our custody agreement.
Thankfully, I'm really satisfied with what we chose.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are school days. This gives my ex-partner one more day with the kids, since he has time with them on weekends. It also gives the kids one day a week to explore museums, amusement parks, libraries, etc., without other kids around. It's a day when we can schedule doctor's and dentist's appointments so they don't interfere with the rest of the week.
School starts at ten a.m. and ends at 4 p.m. I set this up thinking of research on teens needing to sleep in, but it has been brilliant in other ways. This schedule means that even if we go to one of the millions of worthwhile events that ends at 8pm, and therefore grab dinner in the car on the way home and get everyone in bed at 10pm, the children still get their pediatrician-recommended nine hours. This has opened up a world of possibilities for our sleep-concerned family.
School runs in two four-month terms. The first term is fall, and goes from October 1 - January 30. September is full of gorgeous weather here in Albany, and we get to be out in it, every single day. It's the best month for nature hikes. It may just be the best month. After a summer of crowds, we love going to places and having no lines, no competition, no other kids around. Having September off is dreamy. And since Yule is not the biggest holiday of the year for us, like Christmas is for so many, doing school right through it helps me stay true to my desire to not treat Yule as bigger than May Day or Fall Equinox just because the whole rest of the world does.
The second term is spring, and runs from March 1 - June 30. Though most of the homeschoolers we know stop some time in May to enjoy the nice weather, our public schools go right to June 30, and since one of Robin's daughters is in school, we are forced to not go on vacation until July anyway. Since it starts so late, we have a very outdoorsy spring term, and a very indoorsy fall term, and that's a nice balance for us.
In between those terms, February is off. Because February is hard.
At the beginning of this February, I didn't want to stop homeschooling. I was taking refuge in the busy-ness of mundane daily life with kids, and the thought of having freedom to ponder my problems seemed terrifying. I only did it because it was what I had locked myself into with that custody order. Now March is here, and it was fine, and I'm refreshed, ready to jump in to a spring term. I think it can seem some times like custody orders are chokeholds, threatening to suck the heart out of life (as you can see in this doodle I worked on while I waited to find out if my husband and his exes would go to court) but here I am, living with this one, and actually, I really like it.
I was right, with that stroke of genius. February is hard, but it is awesome when I am having a break in which I can do some of my own projects, hang out with friends, act like a single childless lady, deep clean the house, and organize lesson plans for spring term. This February I assembled lapbooks. I decluttered the craft supplies. I rearranged some furniture too. I saw friends, good friends who fill up my soul with excitement about the human species. I wrote three blog posts that turned into 25-page booklets instead. (Those'll be up some time this year, after editing, for PDF download.) But mostly I just drank deeply of the rest and peace I have self-imposed with my New Year's Resolution to do what I'm already doing.
February. Done. Check.